We celebrated my niece’s 21st birthday recently. As we do Filipino style, the celebrant is the one giving a treat. This time, it’s no longer through the parents but my niece paid for our celebration dinner. What a joy to see this shift! It made me face the reality that she is a full-grown woman, earning on her own and gradually on her way to independence (proud Tita/Aunt here). I asked what her reflections are, now reaching the age of 21. Aside from the excitement of what is to come, there is the concern of facing the challenges and responsibilities of adulting. As aunts/uncles/parents would advise young ones, same goes for her that is to take things one step at a time and enjoy the ride. Don’t be overwhelmed with what’s ahead – they have not happened yet. Don’t let it paralyze you from moving forward. We welcome both opportunities and challenges that come our way. Our ability to deal with both, mature over time. Failures help us know more about ourselves, our strengths and weaknesses and create a roadmap of who/what to avoid for similar situations ahead. Opportunities allow us to flourish and accomplish the goals we have set out to do. I look at my nephew he is one year away from entering college/university. My heart is swelling with pride and happiness too seeing him navigating life with the right mentality and attitude.
The anticipation and the anxiety of the future are not limited to young people my niece’s age. It happens to everyone of us. Funny enough, the advice we give and receive is applicable for all ages. That is because change is inevitable and is constant. Life events are unpredictable and surely keep us on our toes. There are those we are totally prepared for and there are those that just hit us from nowhere. In any case, they both contribute to our maturity and in learning about ourselves and the more important things in life. There is the reality of aging as well – from being strong to being frail, from being dependent to becoming independent and becoming dependent again, from being carefree to being responsible, and so on.
The family recently participated in a surprise virtual birthday celebration for our dear 90-year-old grandaunt. We saw a video presentation of our grandaunt’s younger days as an opera singer, artist, choir conductor and many more. As the photos flash one by one from her youth to her golden years, the respect and admiration grew for me even more for seeing how she has navigated life and surpassed all challenges. In terms of major global events, she has witnessed the Japanese and American occupations of the Philippines. She has seen the Covid pandemic that has ravaged the entire world. On the family front, she has raised four successful children. She also survived the passing away of her husband, our uncle, decades ago. For the Hidalgo clan, she has been a pillar of keeping the relatives together – her house always the hub of family get-togethers and reunions especially those coming abroad. We saw video greetings from our cousins, from her grandchildren (even great grandchildren) – most we don’t know already and haven’t had the chance to meet. Everyone has been touched by her love, her sweetness, her thoughtfulness, and her inspiring life.
My grandaunt’s birthday celebration made me realize that the impact / legacy we are making is more important than accomplishing the material gauge of success the world perceives. In our younger years, we get into the trap of spending so much of our time and energy into building our careers, accumulating what we say is enough to make us live comfortably. In the process, we neglect our families, friends or even be on other people’s way just to get ahead. Sadly, our heart could reach a point of callousness that we keep on taking and forget to give to those who are in need. I know it’s cliché but, in the end, material things will not be there to celebrate our milestones. It’s our loved ones, it’s our friends, it’s those that we journeyed with and helped along the way.
We may live like no one’s watching, trampling on other people, or disregarding any consequences to our actions. Someone above knows and sees every intention, every desire, every thought, and every action. Nothing is hidden from Him. If our hearts are right with Him, He will surely honor the legacy that one day we will leave behind in this world. More than anything else, this is the important realization, to live with reverence of God and with the knowledge that we are accountable to Him someday for each of our deeds.
“You show love to thousands but bring the punishment for the parents’ sins into the laps of their children after them. Great and mighty God, whose name is the Lord Almighty, great are your purposes and mighty are your deeds. Your eyes are open to the ways of all mankind; you reward each person according to their conduct and as their deeds deserve.” – Jeremiah 32:18-19
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